How to increase Self Esteem and Confidence

By Jorg Thonnissen (2010) Psychologist – Hypnotic Impact | Hypnotherapy Perth

A study shows that children & adolescents high in task or goal orientation have higher self-esteem. Accordingly, Baldwin (2002) believes that in order to increase self-esteem, one’s expectations have to be lowered or successes have to be increased. Abel (1997) on the other hand, views high self-esteem as adaptive as it is associated with an individual’s greater capacity for a number of personality characteristics such as self –regulation, persistence and successful performance as well as higher expectations of success.

In other words, if persistence exceeds expectations where performance is related to efforts, a person of high self-esteem will experience success that will heighten self-esteem.

However, there is a clear distinction between typical (realistic) and atypical (unrealistic) expectations, as the latter often presents itself as an individual’s maintenance of goals in situations where failure is the obvious result. Thus, one has to consider the effects of attainment and non attainment of future expectations (expressed as realistic or unrealistic goals or tasks) as it will have a direct effect on a person’s development of self-esteem.

Studies found that a ‘positive goal discrepancy’ is achieved when performance exceeds expectations. On the other hand, a ‘negative goal discrepancy’ is achieved if performance fails to meet expectations.
Thus, the consequences of failing to meet expectations are likely to be expressed as a lowering of expectations each time failure occurs, creating highly stressful and emotional situations negatively affecting judgment and the failure of setting realistic goals in future. In other words, under such circumstances self-esteem is in systematic decline.

On the other hand, success will lead to the willingness to ‘raising the bar’ each time a task has been completed. Therefore, the setting of realistic goals is of crucial importance if self-esteem is to be increased. However, in order to truly increase a person’s self-esteem, it needs to be understood that it is one’s own observation of self that is of prime importance to the development of self-esteem.

Seen from such perspective, an individual’s achievements are only seen as appropriately reflecting the self, if they have been internally caused. Externally motivated achievements on the other hand, are said to have little effect on self-esteem. This view is consistently supported by a number of self perception and self attribution theories which indicate that when people perceive their behavior as internally motivated, the consequences for the self are stronger.

Therefore, the importance of achievements and attainments based on self direction are of crucial importance for the development of self-esteem.


By Jorg Thonnissen (2010) Psychologist – Hypnotic Impact | Hypnotherapy Perth