About the effectiveness of Hypnosis in Couples / Relationship Counseling / Therapy

Couples Partners Hypnosis Hypnotherapy Counseling, Uncategorizedon April 8th, 2014No Comments

Profile Pictureby Jorg Thonnissen – Psychologist/Hypnotherapist

Keywords: Hypnosis – Hypnotherapy – Counseling – Relationships – Couples – Partners   

Relationships have the propensity to bring out insecurities that we may have been previously unaware of. There is the potential for so many misunderstandings between males and females or partners in general when it comes to communication and individual perception that it can feel like charting unknown waters in a vast and dangerous ocean. Make a mistake and you are sitting on the rocks of an unseen reef. Not knowing your way makes matters worse and so the ship might be sinking before you know it. The warm and fuzzy feelings that we once had for each other not so long ago are quickly spent replaced by frustration which build up just as fast leading us right into the arms of bitter resentment if issues are not addressed in time. Once that stage has been reached the ship is well and truly on its way to the bottom.

Ironically school and university provides us with all sorts of knowledge so we can be prepared for life – how to be a scientist, an accountant, a lawyer, a medical practitioner, etc… but when it comes to building better relationships with the opposite sex for example we are hard pressed to find anything that could have prepared us for a committed relationship . Thus we are condemned to find out how we fare using our ‘gut feeling’ and so it is not uncommon that we subconsciously apply the dysfunctional relationship models we have observed around us …

When two people are attracted and come together, they ‘feel’  they are made for each other.

But what does that actually mean? It usually happens that after a period of intense attraction during which we choose to ‘overlook’ any possible shortcoming in the other person there comes a time when the previously as sufficient perceived aspects of the partner are no longer satisfying our needs.

From my experience the problem comes first and foremost from a lack of self-knowledge and an inability to communicate effectively. I am technically talking about personality here. For example, if the introverted person needs space to recover some much needed energy expended during an extensive verbal interaction with the world around her/him and the extroverted partner wants to talk even more (as this is where s/he gets the energy for recovery) then we are potentially headed for conflict.

In addition to some very standard personality factors that are common within all of us there are of course also those factors that are based on sensitivities created through our experiences (traumas, neglect, rejection, fears, negative self-belief, … etc., etc…) that most definitely also play a major part in the way we perceive ourselves and our partner in a relationship.

We all know – there are better ways than having reckless arguments to get what we need, but… we jut can’t help digging in our heels and having a tit for tat argument which really isn’t going to advance the cause..

Thus, in the kind of couples therapy that I am providing can be summarized as follows:

Investigating by means of a broad based personality and other assessments what makes one ‘tick’ we can gather an incredible understanding of ourselves and if our partner is prepared to do the same we can possibly for the first time really understand where our strengths and weaknesses are and consequently come to know where our ‘hang ups’ typically appear. We thus have a framework that provides us with a communicational basis and invaluable relationship advancing tool. Once we are familiar with this concept it is actually quite easy to understand the needs of our partner and those of ourselves. No need to be constantly reminded of what needs to be done…once you’ve ‘got it’ (which really won’t take long) you will notice that your mind will automatically engage with the understanding and you will naturally feel that you can observe your actions and responses rather than feeling lost in it.

As you understand the beliefs you may hold and how these influence your relationship and the way you see yourself in general we may use cognitive behavioral therapy in conjunction with hypnosis/hypnotherapy to address unhelpful thoughts and feelings for the better.

I typically also give you a hypnosis CD of the session to take home with you so you can keep reinforcing the crucial aspects of what needs to be understood.

I am very confident that at this stage of the process you will find the effects actually quite impressive.

 

 

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